About to get REAL. AUTHENTIC. HONEST.
(So stop reading if you just want the pretty flowers and dancing in the rain posts lol)
We talk about this journey being the scariest roller coaster you've ever been on…like the guy running it just never turns it off, even when your leaning over the edge sick and begging to get off…
Sounds dramatic, huh.
This is how I feel today. Another appointment, another disappointment. For a second, I wanted to laugh. I wanted to cry. I wanted to run out. I wanted to yell. But I just sat there. Blank.
One day at a time. One day at a time. It's not over, but that doesn't take the SUCK away.
"Wait and pray" is what my nurse said.
I post encouragement, I post pictures where we are smiling through the pain, I post videos to bring awareness. But even those that are hopeful, believing, happy in spite of their circumstances, get to a place of pleading for the ride to stop. (DUDE…press the big giant button right there…)
I consider myself strong. But today I don't want to be strong. Two of my best friends tell me it's okay to be sad, upset, tired…just not okay for me to live there. I won't take up residence, but today I'm checking in for a day. If you need me, you're invited to my pity party for one…but hurry because it won't last long.