Are there things in life that once you do them, you aren’t sure how you waited so long to try it? That has happened to me at various times in life. From trying a workout class that I was sure I would look as uncoordinated as I felt, to being determined that avocado was as gross as it looked, to refusing to fall for the “skinny jean” fad; as I was sure was going to hug all the wrong places….but in reality, we all look uncoordinated in that workout class, skinny jeans can be super flattering and comfy and avocado toast is my jam!! (shameless confession:: I legit would eat an avocado like an apple if it was socially acceptable!!)
All of these things are everyday choices we make, that won’t necessarily change our lives…Although, that workout class can give you the confidence in those skinny jeans and the perfect avocado could probably change your life…(trust me on this!)
But what I am talking about today is something that took me 10 years to try. 10 years to show up. 10 years to commit to. 10 years to admit I needed.
A support group. And not just any. An infertility support group.
Y’all. Game changer.
I reluctantly agreed to “try it out” and even when I went to pick up my friend, we each admitted that we had hoped the other would bail…well, we had no idea what was in store and I am so thankful we dredged on (even with a little huffing along the way…). But I chocked it up to a “girl’s night.” Although, what I envisioned as a circle of a few sad stories with bad snacks and lots of kleenex, was NOT what I experienced.
It is so crazy how God works, I had been connected to the leader of the support group through a mutual friend, someone that in passing on the magical forum of Facebook (literally the people you can find yourself connecting with on Facebook makes this big world feel a little bit smaller), anyway, he thought maybe we should connect. And the rest is recent history…
So back to night one. We planned to meet super early because we had about 30 miles to trek. But of course we arrive uncomfortably early and sat in the car talking about what we had gotten ourselves in to. You might wonder why I was so reluctant…okay, so I have been in this infertility journey a long time. 10 years. But I also have seen the other side of victory and have one miracle already. But given our most recent loss, I thought, why not?!
So, we walk in and the rest of the night is a blur. But not the kind of blur you wake up hoping to forget…rather an oh-so-good blur. It was so life-giving. It was so real. It was so raw. It was so freeing. For the first time in 10 years; I felt like I was in a room full of women JUST like me. I didn’t feel weird. I didn’t feel broken. I didn’t feel alone. Yes, there were tears, lots of them. But it was like a river of life coming alive in me. There was nothing I could say to make those women flinch. Because they have lived it. They are living it. Hours went by and everyone shared their story. Every story different, but so much the same.
I walked away from those 3 hours refreshed, encouraged and counting down until the next meeting. I am so thankful for these women. I am just sad it took me 10 years to find out what I was missing.
(Oh and the snacks rocked!)
Looking for a support group in your area? Some good resources are:
Moms In The Making – this is the one I have attended locally. They also have online group options, if you are in an area where there either isn’t a group yet, or you just aren’t feeling up for a face to face setting.
Support group or not, find someone that “gets it.” Find your safe person. Find your tribe. Find someone that makes you feel free. You are not alone.